The Boldest Print

Something I learned from walking around in a bathing suit, half skirt, and sheer, knee length cover up during the day - I'm not the smallest on the resort. I'm not the most ideally proportioned, or conventionally beautiful. I'm thick, jiggly in the middle, and small breasted, to tell the unvarnished truth.

Comedic Timing. Or, How I Learned To Love The Pain And Support The Toaster

I need to monetize my dad's sense of comedic timing.  Not the one that he *thinks* he has.  You know, the one that has me apologizing to waiters the world over.  I'm talking the one he doesn't realize he’s got, but would make him the perfect character in a slapstick comedy.

I’ve been on vacation with my folks for 4 or so days now.

Yesterday, I listened to my folks, both in their mid 70s, argue for half an hour over how to use the microwave.  My dad wanted to warm his muffin just enough to melt a pat of butter from the stick left in the fridge overnight.  If he’d have left the butter on the countertop for the same amount of time. . .   But, I digress.  

A Protagonist You Like

I spent about two hours delaying the inevitable of having to get out of bed this morning, chewing on thoughts and enjoying the weight of my down comforter.
I used to have this fear of frailty. That I'd be "less than" because I get migraines, that I have a trainwreck of a back and neck thanks to choices in leisure activities, exacerbated by actual injury. I've got a brain that doesn't quite fire right, meaning it spins off on its own path, too fast, too dark, and too anxious. I'm a packrat, and have historically carried around extra body "just in case I came up short", which is the dumbest thing to hoard, ever. I'm well versed in pain, spending weeks a year whispering curses into ice packs, leaking pain inspired tears into pillows, and being pickled by epsom salts and opioids. Part of my identity has historically included the word, "broken" on some level. Empirical evidence and some other bullshit I'd talked myself into.
This morning, with the duvet pulled up to the tip of my frosty little nose, my logic and my emotion stood akimbo over me, and in unison said, "And?"

Graphic Novelty, or Ephemily Podcasts

How does a person who has been racking their brain to find an outlet for their creativity, but also has an unhealthy need to sit on the couch and watch TV indulge both urges?  Why, podcasting, of course!

Ephemily Recommends - Free Comic Book Day Edition

This Saturday, May 7th is Free Comic Book Day 2016.  This is a day when comic lovers old and new are enticed out of their dwellings with the promise of free teaser issues of different comic titles, cosplay events, sales, and social time with others who share their fandom love.

If you haven't gone through the list of free comics for 2016 yet, here's your chance.  They can be found here on the FCBD official website.

If you're looking to make the best of any sales your local store might be having, I want to offer a few titles that might be worth your time.

Landlord/Tenant 411

Google Voice & The Landline For Life

It seems like every month I get a mailing from my internet provider telling me they can save me all this money on a landline.  I know I’ve told them on the phone more than unless they can beat free, their price is going to be too high.  A dozen or more mailing later, I've decided that their marketing department is perfectly ok with throwing money away, so I'm going to help others help them do just that for under $100.

Fix My Little, Pink Bathroom

Today, thanks to pressure from the city, my bathroom doesn’t look so much like a cross between a set from Saw and a burlesque show anymore.  The grout was stained and flaking, there was a poorly repaired hole in the ceiling, and the wooden windowsill in the shower was black with a questionable substance I didn’t really want to touch.  But, I’m getting ahead of myself.  Let me start from the beginning.

Here, Take This With You

I'm usually in my own world when I walk home. Today though, as I passed the dialysis clinic, I heard "Hey dear. Hey. Take this with you."

When I looked over, one of the transport drivers for MOBY was standing there, extending his hand for a handshake. He was happy, his handshake firm, and his hands were soft.  It was a completely unexpected random act of kindness. The whole exchange put a smile on my face. There is good in the world after all.

Fifty Shades of Lights, Darks, and Delicates

Thursday night, I didn't notice the washer stop mid- cycle.  To be fair, my kitchen is loud, especially when all of the appliances are running.  And that night, I had the dishwasher, clothes washer, and dryer all going at the same time.  One less source of noise had little consequence on the overall cacophony of domestic life.  At first, I didn't realize that silence was a death knell.  I thought it was another minor inconvenience.  But, before we get too far down the rabbit hole, let me tell you the story of how I managed to stuff a house's worth of appliances into a 2 bedroom apartment.