February 28, 2013

Heartfelt Thank You to Walgreens

Dear Walgreens,

I wanted to tell you about the outstanding service I recieved with my last contact with one of your pharmacies.  Six days ago, I had a prescription for a new antidepressant called in to the location where I generally get all of my presciptions filled.  I got an email saying that the pharmacy had gotten my medication, but my insurance company wasn’t going to cover it.  I could pick it up, but would be responsible for the retail price.  I called to follow up and find out if there was something I needed to do.  It was late in the day on Friday, and as it would happen, my insurance company required a letter from my doctor as to why I was changing medications.  When I asked what I could do, I was told that I’d have to wait for the doctor and insurance companies to complete their parts.  In effect, my hands were tied.

February 26, 2013

A Matter of Respect

For me, gift giving is about wanting to, not having to.  I'd rather know someone spent their time choosing something perfect, than know how much of their paycheck they parted with.  When I heard about my friend Maverick celebrating his 6th birthday of sorts, I knew exactly what to get him, my public admiration.

February 25, 2013

Lost Between the Wallet and the Office Visit

Most of the time, I'm quite happy to be in a job that offers me insurance.  It's not perfect, but it is appreciated.  I mean, I won't have to worry too much about being able to pay for my care if I survive getting hit by a bus.  However, I do still have a beef that I think needs to be discussed.

February 7, 2013

Practicing For The Script of "Taken 3"

A fellow Samurai posted the following on our internal message board the other day, wanting to know if any of us would be interested in helping out.  Knowing we're a bunch of creatives, and many of of fancy ourselves writers, his odds were good that someone would bite. 

" I am getting close to the number I need, just a few more pleeeaaasssee ? For this project, I will need a short letter from each person. I would like it to be threatening in nature, as this is a forensic questioned documents research project. Please send me a threatening letter, no less than 100 words long, directed at anything from an organization to the Lego you stepped on this morning to myself. The content WILL NOT be included in the research itself (unless I ask your permission further down the road), so do not hesitate to say something that would otherwise feel incriminating or inappropriate. This can be something you feel strongly about or a made-up offense, as long as it conveys some sort of dissatisfaction and need for revenge or vengeance. Fowl [sic] language is fine and I will not be researching the meaning or content of this letter, only the physical characteristics of the text (lexical density, to be exact). I will need 40 participants, so if you know anyone else that would be willing to participate, that would be great. Thanks!"

February 6, 2013

It's isn't the size of your words, it's how you use them

When I was using OKCupid as a tool to meet people that I might have a romantic interest in, I included a bit in my profile about the criteria required if you wanted to talk to me.  It was as follows:

You should message me if you're interested. Easy as that. Thing is, all I ask is that you have the ability to use whole words, and have something to say other than "Hey gurl, ur prety. Wanna bang?"


I wasn’t too particular, but I did want someone who could express themselves with words.  Not just any kind of words either.  I wanted whole words.  Text speak drives me crazy, and not in the good, squirmy way either.  I may or may not still have some of the love letters I’ve been written over the years, or that I have written to others.  If I want to feel the emotions I did at the time when they were written, I’ll break them out and read them.  There’s a reason that the bodice ripper genre exists.  Generally speaking, women need their lovers to be in their heads, they need their brains to be engaged.  

February 5, 2013

500 Miles of Porn - Vol. 1

One of the founding members of the Samurai of Spoken Word pretty much talked me in to starting a blog a little over two years ago.  Then, the day after Christmas last year, he dragged me kicking, screaming, and blushing up on stage to tell the stories behind the post.  In that span of time, he’s thrown topics seeds my way in case I was short on inspiration.  One of the seeds that has been germinating all this time was to write a review of the adult novelty store offerings in a 500 mile distance east and west of Omaha on Interstate 80.  I’ve sat on the idea through countless shows, several fizzled relationships, and many conversations about how I’m going to eventually do it.  I’m happy to announce that it’s not just talk.  Today’s offering will be the stores in the Omaha metro area.  Due to the length, I’ll have to break this up into multiple posts.  So, without further ado, 500 miles of porn begins.   

February 3, 2013

The Popcorn Chronicles

When I first moved in to my apartment, it was a D-U-M-P.  

I had just begun to settle in to my rented room with my former roommate when we realized that our styles of crazy were incompatible.  I’m a clutter bug and he’s an overbearing control freak.  When asked if he wanted me to move out because of our differences, he said that he didn’t think it would work long term for me to live there.   When I said that I understood that, but did that mean he wanted me out sooner rather than later, I got the same answer.  So much for being the guy who can “tell it like it is”.  In the interest of avoiding playing games and having to address passive-aggressive emails about how he couldn’t believe I’d pack up his snack food with the rest of my kitchen stuff (when in fact I’d just taken the bag into another room and forgotten to put it back.  No better than what I was accused of, but if you’re gonna lay blame, lay the right blame.), I set about looking for a place the very next day.    

February 1, 2013

Ownership of Words

If I had one wish, or one bit of advice to simplify your life, it would be to own the words that come out of your mouth.  One of my pastimes seems to be a kind of people watching.  One of the patterns I've noticed is a reluctance to stand by a statement or to acknowledge fault.  The most recent dustup in the news that caught my attention was the story of the snarky pastor who refused to tip on their portion of the bill for a table of 20 people.  Being such a large group, the 18% gratuity was automatically calculated by the POS system.  In return, this godly creature wrote a sarcastic note to the effect of "I give god 10%, what makes you think you deserve 18%?".

A fellow waitress (Not the one who waited on the party of 20) thought it was ridiculous and posted it on reddit for others to enjoy as humorous.  The image went unexpectedly viral, getting hundreds of thousands of views.  This fine, upstanding member of the church of the poisoned pen later called the restaurant, demanding that all involved be fired for the "leak".  Her note had reached the ears and eyes of her contemporaries and was besmirching her reputation.  

The Valentine In Black

As I was soaking in the tub this morning, dreading the walk through the snow to work, the radio was beating me about the head and neck with the fact that Valentine's Day is just around the corner.  In years past, this made made me snarl out of spite because of my failed attempts at dating.  Heck, a couple of years ago, I had the pry the fact that yet another man I'd been seeing had lost interest in me out of him mere days before the holiday.  Not that I was expecting to be showered with perfume and roses, but it seemed rather cowardly to go to ground in an effort to avoid the problem.  For that reason, I was happy to remove any vestigial obligation he felt towards me by burrowing in after him for the truth.