April 23, 2013

Blog Post Creation in a Nutshell

How to write a blog post/short story

It's not easy to just dash off a blog post.  There's a real, well defined process to what it takes to go from "idea scribbled on a cocktail napkin" to published.  Everybody has a different system.  Here's mine.

April 17, 2013

My Coffee Smells Like Beauty

Yesterday, a couple of neighborhood facts walked up to me and sucker punched me right in the feels.  My "feels" are buried under so much scar tissue and thickened skin, I didn't expect it to hurt.  Boy, I was wrong.  The perp of this heinous act of wanton emotional endangerment and assault with a dangerous idea was Dove.  You know, the people that make the soap and beauty products.  
Since September of 2004, they've been running what they call The Campaign For Real Beauty.  At the time, only 2% of women described themselves as beautiful, and Dove was afraid that what we stressed as such was becoming "limiting and unattainable".  They've made a real effort to change the idea of what beauty is.  I want very badly to think they're succeeding.  Their most recent campaign was enough to convince me that it seems to only be working on a superficial level.  It would seem that the idea of beauty is being more widely accepted in other people.  But, when it comes to embracing our own beauty, we still doubt ourselves.  Apparently, Dove wanted to do something about that too.  That's why they came up with their commercial entitled "Sketches".  It was a real moment to wake up and smell the coffee.  And the coffee smelled like beauty.

April 14, 2013

Facts About Juicing

I’d been looking at getting a blender for a while, and I finally got the spare change to get one last month.  I’d been eyeballing a heavy duty one, but settled on getting a medium duty blender/food processor combo and a separate juicer for about $20 less than the cost of the high end blender.  

Not long after I made the purchase, it was Bountiful Baskets day.  If you haven’t heard about them, look them up.  It’s a food co-op, run by volunteers, that provides you with affordable, high quality produce.  It wasn’t long after I got my basket home that I started shoving sliced bits of fruits and vegetables through the feeder and laughing maniacally.  

As with any new experience, there have been a few curveballs.  I wanted to share a few of them with you, just in case you’re in the market to get your own shiny, new juicer.

April 11, 2013


It's been a few days since I've been able to spend much time with Seamus, the stray who's adopted the humans in my building.  It's unseasonably cold and snowy tonight, so I took a towel and a heavy coat with me when I went out back to see if he was around and wanted some pets.  I called his name as I looked around for him, hoping he'd be close enough to hear me.  He was.  I'd caught him napping in the garage rafters, trying to avoid the wind.  He hopped down and came running to me, talking the whole way.  I swear, to listen to him, you'd think he's scolding you.  "Where have you been?  Do you know what time it is?  Dinner was supposed to be hours ago.".

April 6, 2013

Sensorship [sic]

It's Saturday, and I spent the afternoon running errands with my friend and neighbor, Ms Jenny Tanner.  (Names changed to protect the. . . damn.)  Being perhaps the warmest day we've had yet this spring, we did most of the running around with the music up and the windows down.

Now, my car has a really fancy feature where if you push the lever to roll the windows up, it will do it with one touch.  You don't have to hold it.  If it senses an obstacle in the way, it will stop and reverse back to open.  That's a safety feature to prevent injuries.  It's a handy feature when you're driving a manual and you want to roll up your window in a hurry, but it's a pain in the ass when the sensor loses its damn mind and forgets where the end of the track is.  It tends to result in the window going up, panicking, and retreating about half way back down, over and over and over.  

April 5, 2013

Plastered of Poop-us

Ladies, turns out the looks you're giving me are as dirty as the towels you want me to "prep" for the next guy.  It's true.  We have these touchless paper towel dispensers in the bathrooms at work, and I generally opt not to advance the next allotment when I'm done with my own.  Why, you ask?  What's the harm?  Well, nothing, really.  Nothing other than a little poop on your hands.