January 23, 2018

Comedic Timing. Or, How I Learned To Love The Pain And Support The Toaster

I need to monetize my dad's sense of comedic timing.  Not the one that he *thinks* he has.  You know, the one that has me apologizing to waiters the world over.  I'm talking the one he doesn't realize he’s got, but would make him the perfect character in a slapstick comedy.

I’ve been on vacation with my folks for 4 or so days now.

Yesterday, I listened to my folks, both in their mid 70s, argue for half an hour over how to use the microwave.  My dad wanted to warm his muffin just enough to melt a pat of butter from the stick left in the fridge overnight.  If he’d have left the butter on the countertop for the same amount of time. . .   But, I digress.  

November 4, 2017

A Protagonist You Like

I spent about two hours delaying the inevitable of having to get out of bed this morning, chewing on thoughts and enjoying the weight of my down comforter.
I used to have this fear of frailty. That I'd be "less than" because I get migraines, that I have a trainwreck of a back and neck thanks to choices in leisure activities, exacerbated by actual injury. I've got a brain that doesn't quite fire right, meaning it spins off on its own path, too fast, too dark, and too anxious. I'm a packrat, and have historically carried around extra body "just in case I came up short", which is the dumbest thing to hoard, ever. I'm well versed in pain, spending weeks a year whispering curses into ice packs, leaking pain inspired tears into pillows, and being pickled by epsom salts and opioids. Part of my identity has historically included the word, "broken" on some level. Empirical evidence and some other bullshit I'd talked myself into.

This morning, with the duvet pulled up to the tip of my frosty little nose, my logic and my emotion stood akimbo over me, and in unison said, "And?"

August 30, 2016

Medicine is bitter. I'm just glad I'm not.

This morning, I took some of my own medicine.  And it’s not that “for medicinal purposes only” booze I keep under the mattress either.  It’s me following my own advice.

I have a high school acquaintance that is absolutely enamored with me.  Those words die on my tongue because it sounds so egotistical to me.  But, when this person has followed me from internet service to service over the course of a decade or more, I think that spade should be called a spade.

Here’s the thing.  He’s special needs.  I believe he’s on the autism spectrum with a below average intelligence.  I only mention that because it seems as if my “thanks but no” talks and years of ignoring his behavior hasn’t sunk in.  And I am to the point where I think it never will.  I believe that social norms and cues are lost on him.  It’s not that he’s awful, it’s who he is.  And to expect that to change is unreasonable, but I’m also uncomfortable with all the attention.  I’m also confused as to why I’m getting as much of his mental energy as I am.  He’s in a long term relationship with his partner, and they seem very happy.  I’m very glad for them too.  However, over the years he’s found me on various social media platforms, a couple IM services.  He’s even tried to get to me by pestering mutual friends of ours about where I am and what I’m doing.  It got to the point where myself and another friend stopped using Yahoo chat because he wouldn’t leave either of us alone.  He’s never been threatening.   I don’t particularly fear him. He’s just. . . Well, if he had his druthers he’d be around me all the time.

What finally did it was this morning.  Weeks, if not months ago, he’d sent a request to reconnect that I had declined.  I woke up to his comment on an item with public visibility.  It wasn’t out of line.  It wasn’t vulgar.  The only think overtly wrong was he used “your” instead of “you’re”.  What stuck in my craw was his need to be present as much as he can.  And it’s starting to feel like he’d gather up all the hair I cut off at the salon and sniff it.  It’s getting creepy.

I didn’t think to block him immediately.  I was initially just annoyed.  I mean, he’s harmless, right?  Why use the nuclear option?  Then I heard myself in my own head, telling anyone else who found themselves in this situation that it’s not ok.  That you shouldn’t have to worry about them popping up and making you uncomfortable like that.  It’s not acceptable behavior and you shouldn’t have any guilt about doing what you can to prevent finding yourself a target of unwanted and unreciprocated attention.  So, I pulled up my big girl panties and clicked block.  I’m not joyous about it.  I’m not playing “Ding dong, the witch is dead” on repeat.  I’m keeping it quiet today so I can listen to that little voice in my head that is saying, “You done good, kid.  Way to take your own advice.”.

August 7, 2016

Ephemily Gets ID'd

Several years ago, when the Walmart Neighborhood Market on Saddlecreek was new, I wanted a beer. I had just turned in the on-call phone on another three day weekend Monday morning, and I decided that I was going to jam all of the lounging and celebrating others' had been given into the piddly amount of hours left to me.  That sliver of rebellion decided, Thunderhead and I hopped in the car and drove the several blocks to the store.  Up and down the isles I lurched, like a Zombie from being under what can best be called house arrest for the previous week.  I added junk food, some necessities and a bag of dog food the the cart along with my precious sixer of beer.

May 29, 2016

Graphic Novelty, or Ephemily Podcasts

How does a person who has been racking their brain to find an outlet for their creativity, but also has an unhealthy need to sit on the couch and watch TV indulge both urges?  Why, podcasting, of course!


May 16, 2016

It's a Four-Legged Thing

Saving animals from busy streets.  It's starting to be a habit with me.  Not that many years ago, a friend of mine and I were out rubbernecking the fiery end to a multi-jurisdictional police chase when we found a small white dog running in and out of traffic.  Being the 4th of July weekend, we figured the noise of the fireworks had spooked the little pup and he'd bolted.  Long story short, when we couldn't get animal control to come get the little guy, we sat outside of a Great Clips until past closing waiting to see if the owners came looking for the little puffball.  I'm happy to say, they did.  Our temporary friend was happily reunited with his humans and they all lived happily ever after.

Last weekend was not exactly a replay, but it paid an homage.  The part of town that Thunderhead and I bought our house in has been around a very long time.  The house itself is 91 years old, and a grand old gal at that.  This last Saturday was the 57th annual neighborhood parade, and it marched within feet of our front door.   I was a little late to the spot we'd picked out in the shade to see it, but word was there was a small dog just prancing along with the motorcycle cops that started the procession.  

May 6, 2016

Hard Selling to the Hard Sold

When we bought our house last month, we went into it knowing we'd have some basement issues to address.  The first heavy rain came before we could add some gutter extensions, so we had some rivulets of water seeping in from the walls.  This was not an entirely bad thing.  It gave us an idea of what we are up against as far as repairs.  Thankfully though, the purchase of several downspout extensions to get the water away from the house alleviated many of the problems.  A few hours with my vornado fan on full blast dried up the walls quite well too.
So, we set about calling for estimates on basement and mudjacking options.  Most are what you'd expect.  A phone call, a visit, and an estimate in the mail or email.  One or two followed up a few weeks later.  None of them seemed to be afraid to let you shop around.  It's passive, and it let's the almighty dollar speak.  For those seeking the lowest cost and hoping the quality doesn't suffer for it, this is a viable option.  What I need to be sold it to know the science and process.  I need to know what my money will be going towards and that it makes sense for me to purchase now and in the future.
I can say that within minutes of sitting around the dining room table with a very popular basement solutions company, I was both fascinated with their processes and put off by their blatant high pressure sales tactics.  Their science seems sound.  They can take a dank basement and turn it into a wonderland of dry useable space.  At a cost.

May 5, 2016

Ephemily Recommends - Free Comic Book Day Edition

This Saturday, May 7th is Free Comic Book Day 2016.  This is a day when comic lovers old and new are enticed out of their dwellings with the promise of free teaser issues of different comic titles, cosplay events, sales, and social time with others who share their fandom love.

If you haven't gone through the list of free comics for 2016 yet, here's your chance.  They can be found here on the FCBD official website.

If you're looking to make the best of any sales your local store might be having, I want to offer a few titles that might be worth your time.

February 7, 2016

Landlord/Tenant 411

I’ve been doing an awful lot of research into landlord/tenant issues in the last 6 months or so.  It has become more and more apparent that the man I rent from wears a mask of kindness to hide his true intentions, and getting much needed repair work done has gotten to the point of getting legal advice.  However, I’m not going to spend this post risking a slander suit.  I intend to share the fruits of my labors.

First and foremost, I am not a legal professional or an attorney. This advice is general in nature and should not be taken as advice from a professional. If you have encountered difficulties with your landlord, please consult an expert in your area before proceeding.

November 26, 2015

Thanksgiving Review

Today I'm humorously thankful for preemptive Thanksgiving last weekend, new tires, good sense, and no need to travel any further than my couch.

But mostly, I'm also thankful for a new job that has, without hyperbole, changed my life for the better. I'm thankful to have the sort of life that allows for first world problems. I'm thankful for the death of green eye'd dragons so as to allow me to live within my means. I'm thankful for patience, tolerance, humility, and the knowledge of when to set them aside. I'm thankful for 2 minutes to midnight conversations, because they for allow nights on the couch, alone together. I'm thankful for low maintenance friends, and the texture of life translating into wisdom to share. I'm happy to be driven crazy, because we usually get there by way of the scenic route. I'm thankful to be asked "Do you hate them?" and being able to answer, "No. If anything, I'm sad for both of us.". I am thankful that this year has thus far, been monumental and tedious. But mostly, I'm thankful for all the reasons and the ways I can do and be so much more than this.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. May your list be richer still!