November 27, 2010

The Virtues of Being Fan Dance

Skank is the new black, apparently. Don't tell me I'm the only one that's noticed it seems like the idea of sexy went from tease to tah-dow!

Knowing that Fan Dance and Burlesque are a lost art, let's start with some show and tell.

This is Sexy.

This is just about a tour of this woman's internal organs, and is not all that sexy.

In the interest of full disclosure, No. I can't move like the pole dancer. You can't see my ribs, and my tits are both real, smaller than your average plus sized woman, and shaped like you'd expect a 30-something's to look. However, I don't say these things out of jealousy. I say them because I appreciate and require a little bit of mystery with my sex.

I'm a bigger fan of peekaboo panties than "Did that cervix just wink at me?".

Fan dance is about duality. You see everything, and you see nothing at the same time. It's lighting, it's timing, and it's quick peeks of "the goods" instead of getting to know them so well you feel obligated to send them a Christmas card next year. You can look, but you can't possibly think you can touch is so much sexier than "please exit through the gift shop"

Burlesque allows woman to stay soft, feminine, and powerful at the same time. Take, for example, Roxy Rouge. She's no stick. She's voluptuous, curvaceous, classy, and very pin-up. She wouldn't fit in on a pole dancing stage, and that's a damn shame. I'd rather watch her take off her clothes and shake around some ostrich feathers than see the woman with thighs strong enough to open a pickle jar any day.

Pole Dance is specific. It requires this kind of waistline, these kinds of breasts, this brand of shoe. Fan Dance is more suggestion, wiggle, and eyelashes. It's more attitude than goods. Anybody can be Fan Dance because it's more confidence than measurements.

I call being Fan Dance a virtue because, as I've said many times before, there's a difference between being easy and enthusiastic. Fan Dance is about being both Predator and Prey. It allows a woman to be feminine, accepting of her body, and to encourage a man to come get her.

The flirt allows a woman to be alluring, and to tease a man without giving away all her secrets. It brings out the love of the chase in both sexes. It's more about foreplay, thinking, and the idea of nudity than "Boom! I'm naked! Stick it in me already!" That doesn't work for me.

So, pass me the ostrich feathers, dim the lights, and cue the saxophone. I'm gettin' in your head one wiggle at a time.

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