While My Uterus Gently Weeps

I said I wasn't going to do this anymore.  I am a filthy liar.  It wasn't the overtures so much.  "U horny" hardly offends me.  If anything, it pales in comparison to some of the more colorful compliments I've been paid; better blowjobs than gay men, a machine, and provider of the most in-person orgasms in a 6 hour period.  To these, I say "Damn straight".  What got me involved at all was boredom, and claws that hadn't been filed in a while.  A lack of chocolate to pacify the raging red dot in my pants might also have played a bit part.

Without further ado, I give you the latest product of the American educational system trying to get laid.