December 19, 2013

Right Past Joyed Into Overjoyed

When the name Ephemily was born, it came from a few intangibles.  Ephemeral was the biggest "root" concept.  The world and the people in it float in and out of my daily life like feathers on the wind, or leaves in a stream.  I could spend hours contemplating why that is,and have spent more than one golden afternoon on the subject, tumbling over thoughts in my own head.  That's not my purpose today.  Today I celebrate what happens when that feather comes back down to earth and lands in my hat.

This month has been one of many changes.  I could focus on the scramble to make ends meet after losing a source of income for the foreseeable future, but money doesn't mean happiness.  I'd rather focus on feelings, making memories, and stuff that lasts long after the bills are paid and the waitress has been properly tipped.

After having a falling out a bit more than a year ago, I was pleasantly greeted by a message from my friend and co-conspirator Propecia Louise in my inbox.  It was a simple message, but that didn't stop the emotions from finding their way through the internet and right into the dust in the air of my apartment.

"I just wanted you to know that I still care a lot about you and I miss you. I hope things are going well for you.

Two sentences.  That's all it took.  I think in the two or so weeks it's been since I blinked back the emotions those words made me feel we've only not spoken at most, on one or two days.  Being someone who's lost it all in one way or another, or at one time or another, something even this simple means ever so much to me, and I'm ever so grateful for it.

Imagine my elation when I heard from another friend of mine who rang me up on a random Friday night just to catch up.  Catch up indeed we did.  Had I not needed to be somewhere, we'd have talked and laughed all night.  I haven't seen my tiger-loving friend since college when he drove through from the east coast to Colorado for grad school.  And you know what? It was as if that decade plus hadn't passed at all.  Sure, we've had some passing conversations and maintain a "friendship" on social media, but despite my hatred of the phone, we were right back in the thick of being friends again.  When it came up that he had the means to do some traveling, I joked that he needed to drive his skinny ass out to Nebraska and say hello.  We floated the idea around and left it at that since I had to scoot out the door.

A few days later, I got a text out of the blue from a hockey buddy of mine who I hadn't really spoken with since he moved to California.  As I remember though, I was one of the first people he came out to, and that always stuck with me.  I'm honored to be trusted enough to make that something someone would consider.  We only had a quick exchange, but it's so wonderful to be thought of, even after a long absence.  He's graduating soon, and will then be going after his teaching certificate.  He plans to teach physics.  I couldn't be happier for him.  I love to see my friends succeed.

Just last night, I found another message in my inbox from my long absent college friend asking me when visiting would be possible.  Neither of us wanted to let the idea of actually hanging out in the same place wither on the vine.  Less than 24 hours later, he's got plans to hop in the car in the morning and make the boring 8 hours drive all the way across the state.  What for?  For a weekend of catching up on a decade or more of lost time, bumming around all the unique places in town, and covertly convincing him to move here.  He might not know about the last part, but that's ok.  *wink*

I don't know if it's the holiday spirit, middle age, or what.  And you know something?  I don't care.  For once, I'm not going to pick this apart to try and discover a "true" meaning or motivation.  I'm just going to bask in the feeling and appreciate reconnecting with people I love and have missed, reason be damned.  For once it's nice to be drunk on feels.  My liver could use the break.

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