March 5, 2012

Out Of the Mouths of Babes

If by babes, you mean smokin' hot, strong, independent women that is. 

I'm picky about my ladies.  It takes certain qualities to really have me call someone a close friend.  I know that I'm not for everyone, and that my standards are probably pretty unforgiving to a large segment of the population.  Though, I don't think they're unreasonable unfair.  I want my girlfriends to have character.  I need them to be able to be their own person, to Get Shit Done in the face of adversity, and know when to hold and when to fold.  I don't care what color you are, what you drive, how much you make, or even if you like The Jersey Shore.  If, when the pressure's on, you can stay true to yourself, make your own rain, and live life on your own terms, we can be friends.

Maybe 8 months ago or so, my best friend Amy and I were screwing around, coming up with bullshit titles for ourselves.   I think I came up as Chief Instigating Officer if memory serves.  Out of that conversation came our group; the Bad Behavior Support Group.  Because, you see, we're women "behaving badly" and we need to support each other.  Out of that grew a group of some of the coolest ladies I've had the pleasure of meeting.  We share good news, bad news, the occasional catty rant, and most importantly, at least one monthly meal together.

It's not uncommon for venues to seat us far away from other patrons, and "Nobody puts baby in the corner!" is a common refrain for us.  We've timed how long it takes for us to clear entire sections of restaurants, and counted how many times we can get it done.  (For the record, 23 minutes, and 4 times at the same place and in one sitting.)  Though, we do give back.  We choose local places to eat, not chains.  If we're gonna make a scene, we're gonna make it count, dammit.

  Over Christmas, we had our holiday party at Mt Fuji Inn, complete with anatomically correct rude baked goods, booze, and a total disregard for manners.  I give you, a few of the phrases that were heard at the table:

"A revolving door of drunk."

"Isn't this better than math?"

"Fancy.  We just ate a dick here."

"I'm in a rum and frosting stupor."

"Are you an angry fucker?"

"The back door of the porn store probably saved our lives."

Classy ladies, we are.

1 comment:

  1. I LOVE this!! My friends and I are like this, too. In fact...you should totally perform this live at one of the shows. :)

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