9 .
1 . 96
I remember I regret
I regret
standing
leaning,
arms crossed against the trunk of my car
parked on
the shoulder of the highway
staring up
the band of
the milky way so bright
against a
rare black sky
the stars and
planets actually twinkled
and I waited
when I should have enjoyed
a warm and
strangely misty night
you were
caught in wonderment
I was caught
in worry, again about time
the thoughts
sting to remember
chasing you
back in the car
and promise
of next time is hollow
Time, and
being “responsible” “adult”
kept me
from doing
only what I enjoy most
losing
myself
divorcing
everything but
it would
have been you and me
a road, the
radio, the stars
the placid
in me
pacific
took leave
this summer
purpose
drove me
activity
called to me
I lost my
soul, my county
City took over
black to
hide the dirt
paints and
dyes to hide the age
when we
chased the rain
the glorious
walls of clouds
red and
yellows electricity framed the sky
I remembered
the thrill
something
new something old
that
evening, it was your turn
your right
to lean in and put down your smile
you night to
think and be mellow
we hid while
the citronella chased the bugs away
as
comfortable as one can be
in a large
tin can
we, again,
watched the sky
and you
reminded me
with your
one bit of humor that night
to “keep
looking up”
I remember I
regret
not getting
lost
being all
too serious
all too
“eastern” full of myself
Lie
I dream of
your huge white blanket. Remember
playing
peek-aboo
the idea of
tag-team bubble-bobble
I hear you
saying
“Ducktails
woo woo” in my sleep
I remember I
regret
sitting in
the chair in the corner with my feet tucked up under
falling
asleep in your bed alone
clamming up
curling in a
ball
at night
here, at day here
defensive to
anyone who flirts too close
I sleep, arm
over a pillow,
surrogate #2
your
picture, our picture
your flowers
in my planner
I hide
behind
hold out
before me for all to be told
to boys who
come to steal me away
it’s all I
know
I keep your
word with me always
folded in my
pouch
it’s with
me, in my left hand or pocket
I remember I
regret
all the time
I held my tongue
all the
times I stuck my foot in my mouth
Simple
language says all I can
bare and
honest truth
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