October 19, 2011

Wrap it up and put a big old bow on it.

This time last year, I was at the tail end of living with my ex husband and his girlfriend.  My relationship with a younger man I was growing fonder of by the day was in its death throes.  I was painfully broke, staring down another unhappy birthday, and realizing I wasn't going to get to enjoy my favorite holiday of the year; Halloween.  My divorce hearing was the day after said birthday.  My house, which was the bane of my emotional and physical existence, was near empty as my ex was moving, and he took a good chunk of furniture.  I had packed up the things I didn't want to go missing, and had finally decided it was time to cut my losses entirely and make the house go away.  I was prepared to let it go any way it could, whether that be through foreclosure, deed in lieu, or short sale.  I just wanted it gone.  I wanted to walk out of the ashes with an entirely new beginning.  It has been an entire year since I drew that line in the sand and stepped over it.

This year has been difficult, what with the sale of the house taking, start to finish, over 9 months, dealing with the end of the lease on my car, finding a new place to live that I can afford.  Being able to keep my dogs is a fortunate benefit.  Meanwhile, I've been working on keeping and growing my existing friendships, making new ones, and trying to date.  None of those are easy even when you don't have what feels like a Sisyphean task looming over you.  So, it's been a year of adventure and struggle.  But you know what?  I don't think I'd trade it for anything.  I've learned, adapted, and grown as a person.  These past months prove to me that I can be a phoenix and come through this stronger than I was before.  If I can do this, nothing's going to hold me back. 

So, it is with great jubilation that I write these words:

I close on the sale of my house on October 28th, 2011.

I am leaving behind the last vestiges of my married life by handing over the keys to the new owner.   He has been patient with this, and for that I am glad.  I accepted the offer on the house in June, and it has taken till now to get this done.  I hope he falls in love with the place and can make it his sanctuary.  It's not a bad house, but it was for me.  I lost about $35,000 in the end, but what I gained was my sanity and a new freedom.  Knowing that you only get one chance at life, and that money isn't the same as happiness, I only regret not letting go sooner. 

To my friends who put up with my moodiness and allowed me to let down my hair, thank you.  Your emotional support means more to me than I could say.  Your swift kick in the metaphorical ass kept me on task.  To those who read my social network posts, thanks for either laughing along with me, or tolerating me when I was grumpy about this.  I hope you never have to hear me gripe about something that big ever again.  To the people who were involved in the process, I couldn't have done it without you.  This means you paralegal with the attorney's office, droves of agents that showed my house, and the faceless office workers who collated and stapled the documents it took to get this where we are today.  To my friends and family, your helping me pack and shuffle things from place to place was more meaningful than throwing money at the problem.  Thank you for that.

Lastly, and most importantly of all, Jennifer Morgan, you are the closest thing to a miracle I think I will ever know.  When I first called you, I had no idea what it was going to take.  All I knew was that it wasn't going to be easy, or fast.  Without your sunny personality, empathy, and tenacious nature, this never would have gotten done.  Thank you for understanding my frustrations, calming my fears, pulling the strings, making the phone calls, and mostly, selling the house!  First pitcher of margaritas is on me.

1 comment:

  1. Oh bless your heart my dear. I am so grateful to have the privilege and opportunity to help you through this...and develop an amazing friendship. Your candor, authenticity and down right hilarious nature...what a breath of fresh air. I adore you girlfriend! Happy Birthday.

    Jennifer Morgan


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