Eulogy For An Old Friend

Oh, my dearest, utilitarian G-Spot vibrator, how I barely knew ye.  Granted, you knew me about as well as can be, inside and out.  You seemed so young!  So virile!  When you first started to lose your potency, I figured it was just the rechargeable AAs.  I chalked it up to them having seen the charging station a few too many times.  Hey, a girl has needs, and this one is trying to keep all that lead out of the ground water by not throwing out countless single use Duracells.

I bought a new set, hoping to rekindle what we once had, and that seemed to be enough for a while.  But then, you stopped doing that thing you do, and it would take some percussive maintenance (smacking it around for those not familiar with the vernacular) to get you to be ready for some lovin'.  Finally, you shook your last shake, and gave up with a sad little puff of acrid smoke.  I cried, mourned, and attempted to move on.  Sure, there are other toys, even more just like you in your pastel purple glory.  But, little wand of joy, you will always be my first G-Spot explorer.  You will be missed.

Let us take a moment of silence to mourn the passing of this member of the Ephemily toybox.