The prospect of dating a fellow Scorpio, on the surface, was exhilarating. I know what boils below the surface for me, and could only imagine the adventure of adding more of the same.
And at first, it is electrifying. Imagine a puppy catching its reflection in a mirror for the first time, and the frenzy it induces. The smirk, lip curled till the dimples show themselves as the devilish insights they are. The charisma you could ladle like gravy, that sense of mischief bubbling just under that finely polished exterior. It. is. Intoxicating.
As are paint fumes, it would seem. At Fate would have it, the aforementioned puppy's self-realization kicked in and that reflection in the mirror ceased to be so interesting.
Being a creature of feeling and a woman of intuition, it wasn't too hard to feel it die. That soft, almost inaudible gasp is easy to miss if your antennae aren't precisely adjusted. And mine seem to be more so than those around me.
Something to know about Scorpios is they tend to make amazing allies or terrifying enemies. We tend to be all about control. It's just how we use that desire that's different between us. Much like scorpions who will sting themselves and commit suicide rather than lose a fight, some of us would rather cut off a limb or gouge out our hearts than lose face. However, if a Scorpio wants to take revenge, you probably won't see it coming. I mean, why would we get our own hands dirty when we can just use that epic charisma to let someone else volunteer for the job and truly believe it was their idea in the first place?
That is also the mark of a depraved November-born. Should you meet one, run. Regardless of their intensity or magnetism.
Perhaps it was a happy accident that neither of us were seemingly the vengeful type. Perhaps it was because neither of us had finished with our circling the other and allowed any amount of emotional attachment to form. Without the risk of pain, there is no desire for payback. In the end, it was naming that 800 lb gorilla, a feeling of mutual dismissal, and a promise to remain friends.
Thing is, I'm not looking for friends. I mean, I am. And I'm not. To say you have too many is... Well, it doesn't sit well with me. Sounds arrogant. But, at some point, you can have so many that you are less of a friend to each as a result. Simple supply and demand, really.
Not that this has me in a mood. Lack of emotional attachment to them and all. But, I do find myself feeling like somehow I'm missing the forest for the trees. Like the answer to why I'm perpetually pounding the dating pavement is right in front of me, plain as day. As I've always said, it's not the fact of the matter that will eat at me, it's the not knowing.
I'm not saying "Why me?". I know it's not personal, and to be honest, I really do like me. Well, the vast majority of the time I do anyway. Rather, I'm looking for the source of the short in my love life. Like that bad bulb in the strand of Christmas lights. Replace it and everything works as designed. Problem is, I've apparently got a laughably long string of lights, and it's going to take some doing to look at each one individually. Patience, young padawan. While you're learning that, here's a bit to chew.