January 1, 2011

Go Gentley Into This Good Year

First off, let it be said that New Year's Resolutions , while noble, just stick in my craw.  Why wait till a certain time in your life to affect change?  Live in the now, it's all you've got.

However, I have decided that I would like to make some strong suggestions to myself in the following year.  Promises and resolutions are too strong.  Life has a way of having its way with you.  Times and places change, promises are broken unintentionally.

First, I will continue to chase and be chased.  I am going to be content with whatever my current relationship status might be.  I will know when it was me, and when it was them.  I will learn from my mistakes, mourn appropriately, and soldier on.  I will cherish what I DO have, but I will not assign more emotion or energy to it (whatever “it” may be) than is returned.  You see, it's because I love me and don’t want to see me hurt by usury.  However, I will give any suitor a fair shake.  I will not dismiss someone on a whim, on the lips of rumor, or because I can.

I will continue to open up to people, to ask for help BEFORE I’m in over my head, and I will tell people when they’re building me up as well as when they’re tearing me down.  I will hug more.  I will use terms of endearment without sarcasm as well as with.  I will give more compliments, but not stoop to false words or white lies.

I will continue to live life with people on my coattails, and I will never forget that you’re there because you LIKE me.  Perhaps my life is interesting to you in some way, but never forget that I might be just as envious of yours.  Live what you can, when you can.

I will remember humility, and that emotions are fickle.  Today I could be the center of attention, the life of the party, the one who can be choosey about on who’s arm she will be the candy tonight.  Tomorrow, I could be on a curb, alone, and friendless, without a coat, and only a quarter for the payphone.  Payphones cost $0.35 last I checked.  Value what you have now, because that is REAL.

I will do my absolute best to remember the power of counting to 10, to picture bamboo in my mind when the words boil in my mouth, and the sagely advice that you can’t unring a bell.  I will try to choke back the feelings of “I’m too good for this”.  No.  I’m not.  I am a mortal woman, with all the strengths and limitations granted therein.  I will work to facilitate change rather than complain about being stuck in the mud.

I will be a better friend.  I will try my damnedest to be more consistent.  I will lend my strength, my hand, my words, and my ear to anyone who needs it and has the fortitude to ask for help.  I have more than enough, and it would be selfish not to share.

Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for this ride.  I will fully admit to your being here having created this hurricane that I am.  On any other day, I wouldn’t admit this, but in a way, I DO look to you for a kind of validation.  Yes, I would be this person regardless, but the fact that you encourage me makes me shine all the brighter.  May you have a year for the history books, for they are only written by the winners.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.