November 29, 2010

My First Brazillian or, Happy Birthday to Me.

Some women, when they pamper or buy themselves a birthday present, do something like a full spa mani-pedi, a night out with the girls, or a new outfit. Me? I went and paid someone to rip my pubic hair out with hot wax.

Coming to that decision wasn't easy. I woke up and decided since I'd taken the day off work, I was going to do something that I'd never done before. I narrowed the decision down to strip club, or Brazilian. I was out of singles, and didn't feel like explaining why I needed a wad of ones at the bank, so I made an appointment at the salon.

Being my first not quite clinical, not quite sexual lady-bits experience, I wasn't sure if I'd have to buy the gal a drink first. Luckily, the waxist had a great sense of humor and legitimately laughed at my joke when I asked her that.

She asked me if we were going to do a bikini wax or the full on baldness that is the Brazilian. I might have no shame, but fear? Yeah, there was some of that pawing at the inside of my belly. So, we started tame. I put on the temporary panties (a phrase which I adore by the way) and we got started.

Most people ask me about the pain. Apparently, I have an extremely high pain tolerance because I barely winced. By the time the pubis mons was bare, she asked me if we were going to go the whole way. I thought about it for a second, and decided to do that one thing a day that scared me. "Yup. I'm game." I said.

That's when she came at me with the scissors.

Well, we needed to get the temporary panties off me somehow, didn't we? So, officially, I can check off "have underwear torn or cut off me" from the bucket list. Sadly, I'd been hoping the context would have been different, but a check is a check.

Maybe it's that I have a very misshapen sense of shame, but it really wasn't as awkward as you'd expect. The gal was a real professional, was good at small talk, and was genuinely adorable. When I told her it was my birthday and this was my present to myself, she threw in the eyebrow wax at no charge. Being that my left one does half my talking for me, having them look good is a BFD! *Caution, this blog contains sarcasm* I'm not a high maintenance girl, and maybe get the brows done once every couple of years, but she really made them look sculptured. I'm telling you, having a well shaped eyebrow can turn a rapier wit into a katana if wielded properly.

By the time I was done, I was quite a bit lighter in the wallet and in my step. Strange as it sounds, even though I was the only one who knew I was bare below the belt, I felt sexier. I had a larger swish in my step, a more pronounced strut, and my dimples made several encore appearances for days!

All in all, I'd call 2010 a birthday success! I stayed true to my do something every day that scares you ways and treated myself to something special in one swift yank.

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