November 28, 2010

A Message About Manscaping

This is a PSA from me to the men of the world. Call it the journalist in me. (No, I'm not fucking an anchorman as I write this. Let's keep that clear, shall we?)

There's a line between wookie and Ken doll that I wish more men would be familiar with. I don't think any woman would ask for a completely hairless man. However, if cuddling, let alone a blowjob, requires dental floss once you're done, I don't think I'm alone in asking you to trim that shit.

I'm not saying go all out bare. I mean, Ken dolls were great when I was still in pigtails. But as a grown up, completely hairless men either have a waxist, or make us worry that you're as anatomically correct as Barbie's beau.

Yes, we know you're convinced that if you're clean shaven "down there" it makes you look bigger. Remember what I said about the tease for women? There's also something to be said for under-promise and over-deliver for men as well. Surprises are usually good! Unless you expect us to believe "oops, it slipped".

There is nothing wrong with keeping your hair neatly trimmed. They make special shavers for it if you're afraid of a pair of scissors. And before you start to whine, remember how women are almost expected to either take a razor to their delicate flower, or let a stranger yank out the hair with hot wax.

Pubic topiaries and vajazzeling are an entirely different topic for another day. I will never be able to look at my Swarovski candlesticks the same way again!

In short, keep it trimmed guys. I'm all for souvenirs, even the kind that require you to take a second look at your wardrobe and neck lines. But, I don't want to be at dinner with the family and suddenly pick a pube out of my teeth. Not again.

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